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Laura Roeder here. I have a technique I want to introduce to you today that no one else on the internet is teaching. I am the only one. Are you ready? When you do this, you are going to suck the money out of your customers. You are going to suck the money so hard; their homes are going to be foreclosed on. They will have no money left because it all went to you. Here’s what it is, the underground kitchen utensil method. What’s that? Bam! This is what it is. When you record the videos, you’ve got to get one of these. You’ve got to get your own. Don’t use the whisk, the whisk is mine. The whisk is my signature kitchen utensil. Get your own. Get a can opener or whatever. So when you record your videos, you’ve got to move it around. You’ve got to take one of this pictures like this and then once you have that picture, put it on your website, put on blog, you put it on your email newsletter. You put it everywhere. Once people know you, they know the utensil and they are cooking and they are doing their whisk and they are like oh we’ve got to spend some money, we’ve got to spend some money with Laura or they are opening their can and they are like oh I have got to spend some money. This will suck the money out of them. Signature kitchen utensil method, use it. Bam!
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About Laura Roeder
Very useful advice. I believe this was how Food Channel started.
Kelvin Kao’s last blog post..Entering Puppet Design Contest (please vote for me!)
LOL. That kind of scared me.
Jon Hu’s last blog post..Hope for a brighter tomorrow, meet Jasmine Azure.
I call dibs on the tenderizing hammer as my utensil. Nobody else better use it!
A kitchen utensil is going to do all that? Wow, sounds like a middle of the night infomercial to me-lol
However I still have to go with APRIL FOOL’S!
Rob’s last blog post..Salesmanship In Print
Hmmm could be April Fool’s but….
I’m an expert on The Pampered Chef Food Chopper so my dibs are on that!
Wow. This is totally awesome.
Wow – what killer advice! BAM! Okay okay I claim the SPATULA!!! Like Bill Murray in Stripes – I love the spatula! yeah yeah I’ll have my customers spending money with me every time they make a hamburger, or flip a pancake, or fry some eggs.
@debworks
Hilarious! I claim the butcher knife and the title “The Butcher Knife Queen.”
I claim the wine opener – that’s a kitchen utensil right? Think of all the winos that would be sending me their money!
Sarah’s last blog post..Get your groove on with Cornielle: The Birth Of Cornelius
i’ll spin all the $ right out of your hands with a salad spinner. booyah!
This is the best thing I’ve seen all day.
Absolutely hilarious and very original. Perfect, April Fool’s fun.
I claim the Steak Knife for all the thick juicy steaks I’ll be eating with everyone’s money they send me! lol
Michael’s last blog post..RoyalSurf Celebrates 20,000 Members
Not to double post, don’t think you can edit, I didn’t claim my utensil! Ummm… Tongs.
I have a juicer that can squeeze the green right out of ya,lol
Justyn’s last blog post..gonaturalbaby: Top 10 Social Marketing Challenges http://tinyurl.com/cfua8j
I claim the spoon because that’s the utensil you’re always searching for the most.
Is a coffee cup a utensil? If so I’ll claim that…caffine and cash…can’t go wrong! ha ha
-Amy
I soooo call the ice cream scooper! A pink one to be exact! Haaha great post!
You are amazing… a can opener is great because you can then serve up a can of Whoop Ass! BOOYA!
I’m more of a cake mixer kind of gal… old school mint blue ;)
Casey McKinnon’s last blog post..My Interview in Complex Magazine
Fork! I claim the fork. Every time you take a bite of that leafy green salad you’ll be thinking about all the Benjamin lettuce you’re going to be sending me. With each bite of your dinner you’ll be savoring the fuel you’re feeding your body while you’re sending me fuel money for my speed boat, lear jet, and maseratti. Each time you lift a bite of that luscious dessert to your mouth you’ll be thinking about the cherry on top of my bank deposits each day. The fork, that’s the ticket. I claim the fork.
LOL!!! i freaking love Rowdy Roeder when she appears!! You are priceless. GREAT post – great vids – great stuff. I claim the lemon squeezer (oohh naughty) Love ya Laura!!!
Marie’s last blog post..How to Turn Happiness Into Money
I call dibs on the potato ricer.
They egg beater is mine which I will use to whip my business into shape and then the money is all MINE. I LOVE the passion….BAM!
I changed my mind. I want the meat tendorizer, so i can smash this keyboard for not telling me my caps lock was on..:(
Everyone one of these comments has CRACKED ME UP! Thank you everyone! I think Lain made the best choice with the potato ricer.
I think you think you’re funnier than you are.
Bernie Madoff sez: “I swear by the sharpened spoon. Perfect for those bothersome prison yards.”
Signature Kitchen Utensil Method. S.K.U.M. lol.
I love your “I’m taking a great photo” face the best! You are too cute! Happy April Fools Day!
I was wondering about the stern face before the video started, then as soon as you said “suck the money” I realized it must be a gag for AFD a few days ago — charming and funny that you can do what the others DO do (“you’ll only learn this from me and you must do it!”) and it’s so NOT YOU that we all know it’s a joke ~ !
LOVE your newsletters Laura, keep up the good works ~
~TheGirlPie
Hmm, I’m not even sure I own a kitchen utensil. Do pizza boxes work?
I wish I could understand what she is saying. I am deaf and there are no subtitles. Is there a transcript somewhere?
Ive been meaning to read this and just never got a chance. Its an issue that Im very interested in, I just started reading and Im glad I did.
Tandin is just not charming but most versatile artist who is definitely going to make a mark in the Bhutanese Film industry for a long time.She is down to earth, must humble and the best part is she is very spiritual.
As soon as I initially left a comment I clicked the Notify me any time new comments are added checkbox and currently each and every time a remark is added I get four messages with the identical comment.