Criticism Got You Down? 8 Tips To Overcome Negative People

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Eleanor Roosevelt once said “You wouldn’t worry so much about what other people thought if you realized how seldom they do.”

As entrepreneurs, one of our main business goals should be to achieve high levels of success and hopefully be presented with amazing opportunities along the way. My blog, Mompreneur Mogul, recently had one of those opportunities. I was featured on Yahoo! with 40 million viewers. My traffic shot through the roof and so did my newsletter subscription. While it was an amazing ride, it didn’t come without adversity.

I started to get some pretty negative comments almost immediately and I realized in that moment that as your business grows, not everyone will be happy for you. Criticism is sadly something that usually comes along with success. When you find yourself in that situation, here are some quick tips to help you overcome the negative people and their attacks. Don’t just overcome these attacks but thrive in the midst of them.

Don’t read the reviews or nasty comments.
There’s a huge difference between constructive criticism and useless, nasty comments. Don’t waste your time looking at those. It won’t help your business and it will only leave you feeling deflated.

Realize that not everyone will like you or your business.
No matter how brilliant, how successful, or how rich you and your business become, some people won’t like you no matter what you do. Just accept that and move on.

Keep the pain factor in mind.
The people who rip you to shreds are not just “haters” they are “hurters”. Something in their life must be terribly wrong that they want to rip a total stranger to pieces. Remember they are hurting and then their words won’t sting quite so much.

Do not respond.
This is probably one of the hardest tip, yet the most important. When I read some of the things they said about me, my family and my appearance, I was pretty upset. One person even talked badly about the name I chose for my daughter. However, writing them wouldn’t change a thing. Any second you waste in that negative energy space is a valuable second lost on more productive tasks for your business. Refuse to allow yourself to get pulled into the negative riptide.

Don’t rehash.
If you do happen to see something negative the worst thing you can do is to think on that over and over. The more you do the deeper the root will go. Soon you’ll either be totally livid or you’ll start believing it so just don’t even go there. Thus the reason to not read it in the first place.

Surround yourself with the opposite.
Nothing beats 1200 negative comments ( yes that’s how many probably a few more by now) then some great friends who are ready to lift you up. If you are in the heat of a harsh critique find a few good friends who really love you. You’ll feel better in no time. That’s why it’s wonderful to have some good friends.

Take A Break
Nothing removes negative energy better than some great fun. Grab those uplifting friends and go to your favorite sports game, hang out at the coffee house or whatever you want to do but just go have fun you’ll notice you will start to feel better immediately.

Understand that no one but you controls the course of your business, your life, and your destiny.
When you realize that no amount of criticism from another person can truly stop you from succeeding it makes it a little easier to handle.

Even the most successful people have to overcome critics. If the Beatles would’ve listened to Decca Records who not only turned them down but told them “guitar groups are on the way out”, we wouldn’t have been graced with such talent.

No matter what stage you may be in with your blog, your business, or in your life, keep on pressing on, ignore negative people, surround yourself with dreamers and people filled with vision. Keep your own mind filled with vision also and you will go very far.

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Lisa Cash HansonLisa Cash Hanson is the author of the hottest selling eBook “Get Famous The Most Amazing Bloggers Resource On The Planet”. Recently featured on Yahoo! Shine and viewed by over one million people and nominated Circle of Moms Top 25 Mom Tech Blog. She’s the founder of Mompreneur Mogul teaching women how to blog their way to a brighter future. Her weekly Newsletter is packed with tips for those wanting to make money blogging and get media attention for their blogs.

Comments

  1. Hi, Lisa.

    Obviously, these are really good tips.

    I like the quote from Eleanor Roosevelt you used. I often tell people a similar variation of the same thing. (I probably stole it from her without realizing it. :)

    I also really like your point about other people not just hating you but hurting (inside) themselves. That’s a unique perspective I haven’t considered previously–and it’s a really good one, too!

    I sense that the overall point of your post is to believe in yourself and put other positive people around you, too.

    Thank you very much for sharing this post.

  2. Hey Lisa,

    Great post! I agree with all your points, especially “don’t rehash.” That one can be tough for me but I suspect it gets easier with practice. “Surround yourself with the opposite” and “Take a break” are awesome suggestions as well, particularly for those of us who spend much our time solo.

    I think it’s also helpful to keep in mind that the “hurters” don’t know us personally. So we shouldn’t take their comments personally. Like you said, it’s more about them than it is about us..all is not right in their world.

    Another thing that can help is to remind ourselves of all the awesome people, feedback, experiences, accomplishments we’ve had. While it’s normal to feel the sting of a negative comment or experience, it can be tempered by learning to look at the whole picture.

    Congratulations on the Yahoo feature and thanks for sharing your experience and insights with us!

    • Your welcome Elizabeth :)

      That’s true if we think about the good things then the things that are not so great seem insignificant. Thanks for sharing too.

  3. Hey Chris you are welcome yes Eleanor Roosevelt was pretty smart :) I’m sure we all “borrow” from time to time it’s a great quote to use and live by :) I know if I remember they are hurting it helps me to not want to attack back which is a natural reaction when you’ve been hurt. Thanks for your comment!

  4. Awesome advice, Lisa! It’s so important to focus on the positive and you always show us that light and remind us how to do it. Thanks for a fantastic article that was much needed today!

  5. Haters are pathetic. There is NO WAY any of us can please everyone all of the time and that is just a fact of life. The sooner we let go of the “disease to please” and tune out unconstructive white noise the better off we are. I sometimes find negative comments entertaining because they can be so over the top and obviously exaggerated. GREAT advice Lisa. I could not agree with you more,

  6. Such a fantastic post. I’ve been on the receiving end of someone’s painful experience many times and have found that it’s important to take a step back and see it for what it is; someone trying to gain some relief from their own pain.

    What you said about responding resonates with me, because I always want to make certain that I’m being clear. I’m always open to other points of view, but if someone is only going to bully or insult me, then I can’t hope to have an intelligent conversation. It’s not important for me to change someone’s mind; I just want to understand. Not everyone out there is interested in the same thing and I’m okay with that.

    Social networking has given people a beautiful wall to hide behind when they shoot arrows at us. It’s funny to me when people say “well, you put yourself out there” as an explanation, but I don’t think us being “out there” means that we should stop striving to treat others how we want to be treated.

    So when I’m feeling the heat of someone’s attack (as perceived by me) I ask myself how I want to be treated; because of that wonderful less that my mom taught me, I won’t attack back.

    I remember the Yahoo day and I was so sad for the people who took your wonderful video as an excuse to be jerks. My first thought was that their day to day life must be miserable – it has to be to seek out people to attack.

    Love the post – thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  7. Great advice! I think those “haters”, for you and others who encounter them, don’t see all that one has gone through to achieve that success and it’s normally an act of jealousy that leads them to leave comments that are negative. Your are so right to suggest leaving it alone – no need to feed into their negativity! Excellent post!

  8. Excellent, excellent advice. I’m definitely saving this and sharing it because I don’t think there is an entrepreneur out there that won’t have negative comments at some point and time. BTW, my favorite is #2 and it’s SO very true.

  9. Great advice! It’s so true that most people are so busy with their own lives they don’t think about anyone else, at least not in the way we imagine they might. I think you’re right that it lessens the sting if we realize those who leave mean, hurtful comments are hurting in some way themselves.

  10. All good points Lisa. So true about the ‘haters’ really just hurting inside. Their pain makes them lash out and it speaks volumes about their lack of character. Great advice and good reminders!
    ~Kelly

  11. Haters will be haters! Thanks for the great article on how to get over the hump and get on with our living our lives and doing what we do best!

  12. Belinda Nnoka says:

    Thanks for the advice. It can be hard to bounce back after unnecessarily nasty comments from people.

    I’ve ordered Lisa’s book – can’t wait to get it and start making a legitimate business of my blogs!

    • Belinda :) Thank you so much I hope you love it you can always write if you have any questions!

      Heather true that!
      Brandie
      Emily
      Anne- Thank you all so much :)

  13. Lisa you truly are an excellent writer and this column holds true especially for those who are in the public speaking and entertainment fields! Being out in the public can make anyone vulnerable to all kinds of opinions but to me it all comes down to staying true to yourself and doing the best you can to be a positive influence for others! I really look forward to reading more of your columns Lisa!!!

  14. … oops I mean’t article. LOL

  15. Your customer is always right…but not everyone is your customer. Those that pretend to be your customer, but whom you do not need, are those who demean you and/or your business without any constructive criticisim.

    A good complaint is the best opportunity to learn and earn a “real” customer for life.

    Thanks for helping to put it all in the proper perspective with way to manage…Eric

  16. Chris- Thanks so much!

    Eric- great point not everyone is our customer.

  17. Thanks for the advice. Usually, I respond to them publicly but then I try to bring it privately.

    And i agree, we don’t need to respond to all as not everyone is our customers. :)

    great post Lisa!

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